Hey dude I hate the way the world is right now too and I want you to know that you're not alone.
There really are people that genuinely care about you & want you to get better even though you might not think there are. Even though I can't identify with your living situation, I hope you'll someday be able to leave Ukraine and find a safer place away from all the warfare and homophobia.
You don't have to be an egotistical incel forever, get away from those spaces that are eating away at you, seek a therapist if you can, maybe take a hiatus from the internet if you can, you're a great artist and you're not an evil person, if you won't keep going for yourself do it for your friends. Take care <3